Last night I was reminded about just how good Satan is at tempting us. As I was surfing the net a thought popped in my head about how good I have been lately not looking at porn. It went something like this:
"Wow I am doing pretty good have not looked at porn in awhile and right now I am not even really missing it." Then suddenly I could almost hear the whisper of the master of lies: "Why not just look at a few pictures? Nothing to serious just as a reward for how good you have been. No one will ever know and it wont hurt anyone. Plus you deserve this."
I was horrified! Satan was using my own pride against me and trying to get me to reward myself for not looking at porn... by looking at porn!! Its so twisted. I'm so twisted. I immediately prayed and asked Jesus to take these thoughts from me and protect me from Satan's lies. This time I was successful in resisting, thanks to God not me, but its a reminder that I always have to be on-guard. Satan will use any opportunity to speak his lies and try to ensnare me.
I have been under attack with temptations alot lately, even as I sleep. Satan is working over time. I really wish he would just take a day off and let me be. :( Oh well I guess the good news is God doesn't take a day off either. Please pray for me that these temptations will lessen and I will be able to recognize when a thought is just another of Satan's lies.
Love for God and love for people is all that can free us. Such love comes from God, takes root in us by the power of the Spirit, and will not allow us to look at human beings - created in the image of God - as things rather than people. Those people whose images you find beautiful really are beautiful. And, God sees more beauty in us than we can know. May you have peace in the knowledge that God knows and loves you.
ReplyDeleteAJ,
ReplyDeletePraying for you today I am. I know this space you find yourself in intimately. I had never "struggled" with it before I met God, since I simply accepted it as part of a normal and healthy life.
As I am growing as a new Christian, I am finding that this area (lust, porn, sex, jacking off) needs to be surrendered to HIS will, not my own.
We can only take one day at a time, sometimes simply moment by moment. Do not spend time beating yourself up for either failures or close calls, but take them as warning signs, wake up calls and a memo to guard your heart and mind.
Hoping today goes better and the sleep at night finds you in a safe head space. Learning to glorify God with our bodies is SOOOOO not easy. We are bought with a price, man. Let's not try to get an easy refund.
Daemon
Craig, really appreciate the advice you gave! That is one thing I definetly need to learn to do better, see the beauty of the person as a person who is created in the image of God and not some object of lust. And your last line really gave me some peace! I sometimes forget that God knows all the many sins I have done and yet somehow still loves me. Its incredible when you think about it. So it was really encouraging to read that.
ReplyDeleteDaemon,
ReplyDeleteI am grateful for your prayers and advice! Ya I really need to learn to take life and temptations like this one day at a time and one moment at a time and trust God to get me through them. This walk is definetly not easy but I want to encourage you that it is really worth it!
I really admire your honesty and support of others. I realize that your walk is even harder then mine since you are a new Christian and are just starting your journey and are used to living the way you always have. Yet you are still so encouraging and supportive of others I really see Christ's love in your posts. I want to thank you for all the encouragement, support, and prayers! I really appreciate it.
Oh and love the last line! No refunds for us right!!
Well, I posted those thoughts in the attempt to be an encouragement. So, I'm glad they had their intended effect! I sometimes think we approach sexuality issues on too superficial & legalistic a level. Suppressing sexuality has an effect akin to pushing a beach ball under water. It comes back with a vengeance. And, then, more guilt, more shame, more frustration. But, life in Christ is all about love.
ReplyDelete