"Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny." (Eccl 6:10, NLT)
This verse just really made me stop in my tracks and think for awhile. Did God know before I was even born that I would struggle with SSA? Obviously He did since he knows all but its an interesting thing to think about. He knew I would have this struggle but still loved me and loves me anyways. Is it possible that no matter what had happened as a child whether I had tons of male friends, felt accepted, and like "one of the guys" that I would have turned out no different since God always knew I would be the person I am? What I mean is I spend so much time thinking about the past and how I wish things had gone different. But this verse seems to say that there is no use doing that or arguing with God about your lot in life because your destiny is already decided.
Of course this brings up the whole idea of free will. If God always knew I would struggle with SSA does that mean no matter what choices I made or what choices others made to include me I still would struggle with SSA? Its interesting to think about. I doubt I will solve these deep questions any time soon. Just thinking.
Also love the last part of the verse. "So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny." I took that to mean there is no use begging and pleading for God to change yours or my particular struggle. I cant even count the untold times I have prayed to God and cried myself to sleep asking for God to heal me of these same sex attractions. Like it says in this verse there is no use arguing with God. For whatever reason some of us struggle with SSA and its our burden to bear. Everyone has some struggle that they have and God must think that we can handle it and that it will teach us to trust in Him. If we each did not have our own particular struggle we may never learn to have this trust and our faith would not grow. Luckily God does not leave us alone to carry our burdens but helps us!
"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” "
(Matt 11: 28-30, NLT).
So what I have to learn to do is to really give Jesus my heavy bag of burdens and let Him deal with it. I cant beat myself up so much when I fail and I have to try not to be prideful when I have success. He took all my burdens on the cross when He died for me anyways. So why do I still drag them behind me like I am chained to a boulder?
Sure this burden is still there and may be with me for life but I am starting to find some form of healing by just talking about it with others on my blog and elsewhere and not keeping it all in. It turns out God is healing me after all. Its just not in the ways I ever would have expected. But God always manages to surprise us doesn't He?
Anyways thats what I got from these verses. Whats your opinion? What do you think that Ecclesiastes 6:10 means? Do you agree with my conclusions or is my interpretation of the verse wrong?