Thursday, April 1, 2010

Family Gatherings...A time to be grilled

I know that not many people really read this blog since its new but I have a question. With Easter coming up this weekend it is another family event where I will again get grilled about being single. I am at the age where it seems most of my friends are now married or getting married soon and even my younger brother is married. So I never know what to say in these family situations. What do you say to your uncle when he asks why you did not bring your GF or to your grandmother when she asks why I have "not found a nice girl to marry yet?" I usually just sort of nervously laugh and say that I have not found the right girl. But its always very uncomfortable and makes me feel defensive. Anyone have any suggestions on a good response? Does anyone else get asked these questions at almost every family holiday? Or maybe I just have a nosy family? :)

Sometimes I wonder if some of them suspect I have these homosexual feelings and may almost be making fun of me behind my back by asking me every time. I imagine that they laugh to themselves as I clumsily try to come up with some new excuse to answer the same questions every year. But that is probably just my imagination as I am sure in reality they love me and are worried I am always alone.

It seems I am the gay member of the family that every extended family seems to have of least one of (or of least thats the way it is in the movies). Pretty much all my cousins are married and some already have kids even my brother is married. Everyone seems as happy as can be. I know its never as good as it looks on the outside looking in (it cant be since a couple of my older cousins are already on marraige #2!) and don't get me wrong I am happy for them all but still I long to be like them. When the family gathering is over they all get to go home with the person they love and their family. But I return to an empty lonely apartment. I wonder if they realize how lucky they are?

Argh I better stop writing I am depressing myself. Sorry for going off on a bit of a rant.


  1. I hope you weren't slighting yourself when you said not many people read this. That was my first reaction. Next: I completely know what you mean about being asked why your single. At least you can honestly say that you haven't found the right girl. It's okay to leave it at that. And if their teasing, or trying to give you an opportunity to come out, don't let it bother you.
    You never know, God really does work in crazy ways & you may one day find yourself in a community that never lets you feel alone, or a one-on-one relationship that God blesses (whatever that may be). I say you're on the right track for going after God regardless.

  2. Oh I must have worded it wrong when I said "not many people read this" becuase I definetly did not mean it as a slight. I realize this blog is new that is all I meant by it. I edited the first sentence so It would not come accross wrong. Thanks for telling me that as I can see how you thought that.

    Yea you are right I guess technically my answer is not a lie lol. :) You are right we can never know what God has in store. I dont know what He has planned for me. Who knows maybe something better than I ever dreamed.

    Thanks for the good advice and for the hope! I really appreciate it.

  3. Maybe I'm just fortunate...but I'm 28 and people don't ask me why I'm not married. When the questions start, I'll probably just tell them that I'm not terribly interested in marrying any of the girls I've encountered thus far. If they try to go further I'll 'take the spiritual high ground' and ask them why they needed someone to complete them instead of letting Jesus be their all. Kinda cruel...but so is asking a 30-something why they aren't married. :-)

  4. Thanks for the advice! Ya that seems like the best type of answer so its good to see I am on the right track with my answers.

    If they try to go further I'll 'take the spiritual high ground' and ask them why they needed someone to complete them instead of letting Jesus be their all.

    Most of my extended family are not Christians so it would definitely be interesting to give an answer like that. I cant imagine what their reaction would be. I think they would be stunned into silence. :)