"Wouldn't it be awful if I became a homosexual? A homosexual is someone who is not attracted to the opposite sex, but who is attracted to the same sex. It's a boy's interest in boys or a girl's interest in girls. Homosexuality is an abnormal desire that reflects deep problems, but it doesn't happen often and it's not likely to happen to you."
That was it. A 200 page book on preparing for adolescence with one paragraph on homosexual thoughts. What really made me have a deep sense of sadness when I found the book again the other day was the page was still folded. I must have folded it when I was 13 and probably was so confused I did not know what to do with this information. After that the rest of the book pretty much just ignored the topic from what I can remember.
So needless to say I was very confused after reading this. Apparently I was a boy with "deep problems" and I did not know what to do. The book gave no advice on what to do if you had these attractions but just said you were deeply abnormal if you had them. From that point on I vowed to never let my parents or friends know. I built a wall around myself that to this day has not been broken. Although I am really trying to break through it and open up to others. This blog is a first step in that.
Looking back as an adult now I so wish that Dr. Dobson had given some kind of advice as what to do if you had these feelings. Maybe tell a parent, tell your pastor, tell your youth leader, or give some sort of advice. I really think now that if that little paragraph was going to be the only info on homosexual thoughts in the whole book it probably should have been removed and not even talked about. I was just an innocent and confused 13 year old kid wanting to know what was going on with my attractions and the only thing I read in this book was that I was apparently a freak since "it does not happen often" and not only was I a freak but I was a freak with "deep problems". I to this day wish I had never read that book. All it did was make me feel like more of an outsider and start me on the path of keeping people at a distance that I am still trying to overcome today.
How did you first find out what a homosexual was? Was it as bad as my experience? Did you read it in a book or hear about it from friends or what?