"You will deceive yourself into believing that if the people, circumstances, and events had been different, your pain would not exist. This might be partly true, but the deeper truth is that the situation which brought about your pain was simply the form in which you came in touch with the human condition of suffering. Your pain is the concrete way in which you participate in the pain of humanity. Paradoxically, therefore, healing means moving from your pain to the pain. When you keep focusing on the specific circumstances of your pain, you easily become angry, resentful, and even vindictive....But real healing comes from realizing that your own particular pain is a share in humanity's pain...Jesus' suffering, concrete as it was, was the suffering of all humanity. His pain was the pain.
Every time you can shift your attention away from the external situation that caused your pain and focus on the pain of humanity in which you participate, your suffering becomes easier to bear. It becomes a "light burden" and an "easy yoke" (Mat 11:30) Once you discover that you are called to live in solidarity with the hungry, the homeless, the prisoners, the refugees, the sick, the dying, your very personal pain begins to be converted into the pain and you will find new strength to live it. Herein lies the hope of all Christians."
-Henri Nouwen, ("The Inner Voice of Love" Pages 103-104)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Your Pain versus The Pain
Wow still reading Henri Nouwen's book "The Inner Voice of Love" every so often. I just read an amazing chapter on pain that put things into perspective for me. Sure I struggle with the pain of this struggle with SSA and the loneliness it brings at times but that pain is just a part of the human condition we all share. I may wish often I did not struggle with this but if I did not struggle with SSA it would be something else. We can not avoid the pain as its part of our fallen human condition. Here is an excerpt of this chapter that I typed out for you all to read because I really got alot out of it! :)
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Beautiful quote, AJ. Thanks for sharing that, bud. Sometimes I get really discouraged when I start to consider how unlucky I am.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I remember that others are suffering more than I am. And my suffering should help me understand their suffering and motivate me to do my best to alleviate it. In fact, my dream is to eventually get involved in medical relief work so I can have some part in relieving the suffering of others.
Ya you are so right bro! Its so hard to remember in the midst of our own pain and struggles that others are suffering just as much or even more. Its a great attitude you have to focus on helping them instead. Its what God truly wants of us. And it helps our own pain too when we work to ease the pain of others.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I am thankful for even in the midst of my struggles with SSA and when I think how much easier life would be to be "normal" is that i believe I am way more compassionate to others then I would have been if I did not struggle with this. I know firsthand that you cant always tell from the outside what someone is going through and not to look down on someone because they may have serious struggles. Its part of life and we each have our own. I am thankful God was able to teach me these things that I may not have learned if I did not have this strugggle. Sure it is painful that I needed this to learn it but maybe God knew I never would have without it so he allowed it? Our struggle, whatever it may be, is never all bad when we look for the positives! God can use anything for our own good. :)
AJ, I love these passages that you've quoted. So powerful; I had never really thought about pain in this way. This is very helpful, so thanks for sharing. I need to read more Nouwen!
ReplyDelete"One thing I am thankful for even in the midst of my struggles with SSA and when I think how much easier life would be to be "normal" is that i believe I am way more compassionate to others then I would have been if I did not struggle with this. I know firsthand that you cant always tell from the outside what someone is going through and not to look down on someone because they may have serious struggles. Its part of life and we each have our own."
ReplyDeleteSo true. For example, if I didn't have SSA, I'd probably be rather homophobic. I'd pobably think that somehow people choose to be gay, and it is, therefore, their failt.
Having a homosexual orientation has allowed me to understand that factors outside of our choices often influence us in significant ways. Since I know what it is like to have an unchosen struggle, I can't automatically condemn/judge people based on the surface information.
Many people are quick to judge the homeless man they pass on the street. However, I realize that there are so many factors outside of his control that could have contributed to his condition (such as PTSD). Being a sexual minority (along with my struggles with social anxiety) definitely has changed the way I view others.