Wandering Thoughts for July 8th

Hey all just another one of my mini update posts with a mishmash of random thoughts all in one post! :)

First a mini review for The Broken Image by Leanne Payne.

--I finished reading The Broken Image by Leanne Payne the other day. It was pretty good. One problem was half the book was about lesbians and the other about male homosexuals so alot of it did not apply to me. Still I learned a bunch from it and she had alot of theories and ideas as to why people have SSA.

I dont agree with everything in it though as she seems to guarantee healing from homosexuality which I just dont know if I can believe. Although she does not really say what healing means. So maybe her idea of healing is different than what mine would be. She says she has a certain prayer that she does that works 100% of the time but its to stressful for the actual struggler to pray and try to change himself as he has spent years praying for healing and struggling and cant believe fully in Gods healing so a counselor has to intercede and pray for him and really believe it. Anyways she says that but then in the next sentence says the prayer only works after many sessions of intense therapy. So it made me question did the prayer work at all or was it all the intense therapy?

One chapter I really learned alot from was on masturbation and the dangers of creating a fantasy world. It gave me alot to think about and I recognized myself in alot of what she wrote. Also the last chapter was all about prayer and worship and I found that amazing too. Anyways overall I liked it and gained some insight about myself from it. Would I recommend it to everyone? No I dont think so but it could still be a help to some. It seems the book may have been written more for counselors than the actual SSA struggler as she describes her counseling sessions and seems to be talking over the heads of the struggler and to the counselors at certain points of the book. Still I found alot of really useful stuff in the book.

--I am now reading Desires in Conflict by Joe Dallas. Already I am liking it alot more than The Broken Image. He has a great writing style and just seems to get what this struggle is like as a struggler himself. I have only read the intro and most of chapter 1 but wow its like he was writing about me specifically in alot of what I read. He talks about how the Christian SSA struggler feels like he is the only one on earth who struggles with this and how he thinks no one in church could love him or understand, and that has been me for so much of my life. And that when SSA strugglers find others who share in the same struggle as them an enormous burden is lifted because you realize you are just a normal sinner and not some kind of super-sinner that is one of a kind that no one else could understand. That has been my experience. Since finding the blogs and talking to you all it has been amazing to not feel alone in this struggle with SSA! Anyways I will keep you updated on my progress in the book and let you know what I think when I am done. I have a feeling I am going to learn alot from this book.

--Two of my favorite blogs are closing down. :-( If you have not been to Karen's blog "Pursue God" or Jay's blog "Adventures of a Christian Collegian" check them out as they have a bunch of great posts and information about SSA on their blogs and be sure wish them luck on their new projects! I have learned alot from their blogs over the past few months.

--Really learned alot from a talk Dr. Mark Yarhouse gave about Sexual Identity and the Christian that Jeff posted on his blog. Check out the two part lecture if you have time I promise you its worth it! You can find the links to the lectures on Jeff's blog.

--And finally loved this post that Ody-Dan made on his blog posing the question Can SSA/Gay People Enjoy Straight Sex? How About Their Spouse? It is all about his life as a married man with SSA and goes into some very personal details of his sex life. These are things I have always wondered but likely would not ask someone so it was great to see how someone with SSA deals with these issues!

Ok thats all for now. Thanks for reading! :)